Do you understand the power of forgiveness?
During my executive coaching sessions, I ask this question constantly.
Forgiveness has a lot to do with how we deal with conflict—not only is it about our actions but also about our thoughts. Read on to learn more about the power of forgiveness.
What is the Power of Forgiveness?
How we deal with forgiveness resides in how we deal with conflict.
Often we think we live significant lives, only to find that we falter embarrassingly in moments of conflict with others.
I have the privilege of meeting people from all over the world during my engagements as a motivational speaker and keynote speaker. I hear stories every day that are threads of the same fabric: unresolved conflict.
When we’re upset, we raise our voices, judge with prejudice, put others down, lose our calm, fail to listen, become irrational, or get moody and depressed. There is always an underlying issue.
The way we react to conflict comes from past, unresolved conflicts.
Most people attempt to move beyond past conflicts by offering apologies – expressions of remorse—for their transgressions.
While that’s important, it doesn’t go far enough to get to the root of the problem. There is a way to get past these unresolved conflicts and move past your anger to reach forgiveness.
You must go beyond apologies to forgive.
Apologies are the beginning of the journey. We must go beyond apologies to reach forgiveness.
We must also humble ourselves enough to forgive those who have wronged us. The first step to doing this is to forgive ourselves.
True, deep forgiveness is challenging. Many of us never even come close to managing it.
Yet psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists all confirm that everyone in the world can and should forgive. Here’s how you can learn to forgive unconditionally
Four Steps to Learn How to Forgive Unconditionally
1. Check yourself at the door.
The moment you start to feel anger, remind yourself that you’ve voiced your opinion in an emotionally-fueled conversation. You have disappointed a loved one. You’ve angered an associate. You’ve made a hard choice that left someone heartbroken.
Remember that you, too, have felt anger at someone. Keep that in mind when you feel upset with someone.
The quickest way to release the anger or frustration against someone is to forgive them and shower them with service, positive energy, and fellowship.
2. Understand the nature of power.
At work, remember that humans naturally tend to become controlling and power-hungry the minute they gain a little bit of power.
But no one can maintain power, influence, or judgment except by persuasion, gentleness, meekness, and kindness.
Before you reprimand someone, think. Instead, show that person a display of unconditional forgiveness.
3. Embrace dissension.
Avoid prejudging by realizing that similarity creates comfort while difference creates rewards and importance.
If two people agree on everything, it means one of them is not necessary.
Everyone brings a unique skillset and perspective to the table. Exercise the humility to have someone offer an opposing view. Weigh each person’s input and encourage dialogue.
4. Make amends.
Make a list of individuals who have offended you.
Go back as many years as necessary. Research where they live today, then swallow your pride and make arrangements to reach out to them.
While a face-to-face meeting is preferred, in today’s COVID climate, an email or text might suffice.
If you do meet someone face-to-face, find a quiet place where you can talk, cry, and do whatever you can to bury the hatchet and forgive them and perhaps even rebuild the friendship.
Begin by visiting with your family first, then friends, neighbors, coworkers, and then your enemies.
Forgiveness leads to genuine peace and significance.
I promise you – if you take these four steps, you will feel more loved, needed, and peaceful than you have ever felt in your entire life. It will turn your previous successes into lasting significance.
Would you like to start your journey towards a life of significance? Or, would you like to enrich your team’s abilities? Contact me. We can get started together.
This content is from Dan’s Best Selling Book: The Art of Significance—Achieving The Level Beyond
Success brings people on a transformative journey to achieve a level of success that helps them chart a course beyond money and fame.